Friday, December 5, 2008

A Plead to Santa

Dear Santa:

After much thought, I have finally decided what it is that I want for Christmas. The economy is really bad and I didn't want to add any strain upon you. You know I am an electronics, gadget freak....OK-OK, I won't lie, this has nothing to do with the economy...It is about lust. After watching Life last night and rewinding and re-watching and putting it on slow and freezing the frame, this is what I want for Christmas 2008:

I promise that I will do whatever it is you want! I promise to behave for the REST of the year, and not just through January. I promise to clean my apartment and I promise to not have impure thoughts when I see a pretty, sexy, or hot chick. Ok-Ok, I won't lie, I will still have an impure thought, but I promise to try NOT to. I promise to not show up at that one corner, on that particular time that you know who has to walk by. I promise to not stalk Sarah Shahi's myspace page. I promise that if you bring her to me I will maintain all of my senses and not have any impure thoughts. OK-OK! I am lying, but I promise to keep my hands to myself...OK-OK! I beg you to tie me up and then present her to me, that way she is safe. I promise to be celibate for the rest of the year, even if you brought Sarah Shahi back to me in the summer of 2009 I will NOT do a thing. OK-OK! I know that would be a hard one to keep, but PLEASE SANTA, I AM BEGGING YOU! ALL I WANT IS SARAH SHAHI FOR CHRISTMAS. I WILL VOLUNTEER AT AN OLD HOME, I WILL CALL MY MOM ON A REGULAR BASIS, I WILL HOLD NO IMPURE THOUGHTS AGAINST MY BOSS, I WILL BE NICE TO THE CHRISTIAN ZEALOTS. I WILL PROMISE TO BE PATIENT WHEN I READ THOSE DAMN MISSPELLED WORDS ON OTHER BLOGS I PROMISE TO BE NICE...AND TO FINISH READING THEM! I PROMISE! PLEASE! WHATEVER YOU WANT! WHATEVER PRICE, I WILL PAY! PLEASE?!