Thursday, October 16, 2008

For the past 2 weeks i have had to drive through downtown l.a for work, right on skid row. Today as I was going through there, i was thinking, "i'm hungry, i hate my job, i don't like this traffic, damn parking tickets, blah blah blah". as i got to skid row, the sun was setting, and people that live there were setting up their "homes". cardboard boxes were coming out, shopping carts were being pulled in. Just this morning at 730, i had seen a guy on a forklift taking stuff away with the forklift, apparently cleaning up the area, now that the sun was setting, people were bringing their belongings. i was in traffic and was feeling a bit stressed about what i was seeing, so i got caught at a red light with the front of my car in the middle of the crosswalk, this lady with her shopping cart full of junk starts yelling at me (i had my window down, cause my gas light was on and i started stressing about running out of gas there)... i quickly put my window up and as she walked past me, i noticed a girl tweaked out at the corner. at that moment as i watched that girl, i realized, as much as i "hate" (not really) my really isn't bad...and if it was i know damn well my sister or my bff wouldn't let me get to that state. i realized, only God or just they themselves know why they are there and in that state.

i realized what "appreciation of what you have" meant. i'll tell you this much, i appreciate my apartment (realize the rent isn't bad), i appreciate the car that i had to get out of the impound (at least i have wheels), i appreciate my desk job (pays the bills), i appreciate my micro-manager boss (she can micro me anytime), i appreciate my family (i got them and i know they love me or tolerate me), i appreciate my friends that take the time to lecture me when i make an idiotic decision (i can laugh, cry or bitch at them or with them). i appreciate my life (it is full-filling). i appreciate the fact that i have a cat and a big screen to come home to. i appreciate that i walk into my bedroom and turn on an A/C and put my pj's on. i appreciate my clean clothes that i pull out of my 6 drawer (messy) dresser. i appreciate that i can jump into my own shower and come out clean. i appreciate my life. i thank God or the Universe or my lucky stars (thanks!). yes, i might grumble and struggle and feel lonely, but in fact i am not that lonely. my sisters both send me picture messages of their babies and usually that makes me either laugh or smile, i'm not that bad off. i really am not. because as that sun was setting and it was getting dark and shady characters started standing at the street corners...i couldn't see myself surviving a jungle like that.

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